Trailer Talk: “Fifty Shades Of Grey”


I have not read “Fifty Shades Of Grey.” I do not want to read “Fifty Shades Of Grey.” And I think a movie adaptation of “Fifty Shades Of Grey” that isn’t X-Rated is ridiculous.

While I may not have read the best-selling novel, I know enough about it. I know that the first draft of “Fifty Shades Of Grey” was just “Twilight” fan fiction. I know that “Fifty Shades Of Grey” is essentially soft core porn with a flimsy excuse for a story to only serve as a vehicle to get to the sexy stuff.

And it baffles me that this would get to become a best-selling novel and become a cultural phenomenon. Especially with the abundance of porn on the internet, you’d think that novels about sex would have taken a dip in sales.

But, maybe it is because some people prefer that kind of stuff in written form, thus leaving much of it to the imagination. If that’s the case, then what’s the point of turning it into a movie, where nothing is left to the imagination?

If it were a porno, then I’d understand. But by making it an R-rated film and giving it a Hollywood-sized budget, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Well, maybe not financial failure, but certainly a storytelling and filmmaking failure.

Starring Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan, and directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson, this is “Fifty Shades Of Grey.”

Let me make this clear: There is nothing wrong with liking “Fifty Shades Of Grey” or even soft core porn. But there is a time and place for that, and works like “Fifty Shades Of Grey” should show that time and place. If the most lasting reputation of your novel is the pornography, then the same should be reflected in your movie adaptation.

However, something like that cannot be done effectively without it becoming a porno. When you try to mix a young adult Hollywood relationship, like those seen in “The Faults In Our Stars,” “The Notebook” and even the “Twilight” films, with sexy time, I honestly don’t know what you get.

I can say that I do not know what to expect from this film. Is it going to be more about the relationship between the characters, or about the sex? Will it fall into many of the other romance clichés and tropes or will it give the audience exactly what they got in the book?

In any case, I have no interest in seeing this film. If I want a sappy romance, there are several landfills full of those types of movies. If I want soft core BDSM porn, though I can’t imagine why I would, that’s what the internet is for. Google can solve many life problems now.


I don’t see “Fifty Shades of Grey” offering anything new or interesting. Just an excuse to cash in on the popularity of the novels.

Excitement Level: Not interested



Trailer Talk: “Guardians Of The Galaxy”


Welcome to a new segment of my blog, entitled “Trailer Talk.” This segment will be relatively shorter than most of my other segments, but the jist of this will be that I will look at the newest trailer of an upcoming movie and give my thoughts and impression on what I see. I’ll try to understand what the trailer is saying about the film. At the end, I will say whether I want to see the movie when it comes to theaters.

Up first is the last trailer to Marvel’s latest superhero adventure, as they expand their universe beyond just Earth, but throughout the galaxy. Starring Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Vin Diesel and Bradley Cooper, this is “Guardians Of The Galaxy.”

What catches my interest even further in this trailer is the abundance of comedy and the tone that is so different from other Marvel films, like “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” “The Incredible Hulk” and “Thor.” While Marvel movies have been great at finding that balance between comedy and action in previous installments, like the “Iron Man” films and “The Avengers,” this one leans much more on it than ever before.

I think this is due, in large part, to the fact that these are superheroes that most people have not heard of. This is Marvel’s first attempt at making a movie about heroes that are not huge in pop culture, like Spider-Man or Wolverine.

This is a film about a talking raccoon who likes to use lots of guns and profanity, and whose best friend is a giant talking tree.


Marvel is taking a huge chance with this film, and for that reason alone, I really want to see this. I have little to no knowledge of the Guardians of the Galaxy, but from this trailer alone, it makes me want to see more of them.

Whether it is Chris Pratt’s attempt to get the other Guardians on his side by talking about what they’ve lost or the banter between Pratt and Rocket Raccoon, this trailer still manages to hit all the right notes of a good Marvel movie. There is humanity in there and a reason to fight evil, but also a light-hearted side that will take a break to joke about percentages.

My only complaint is that it seems like the comedy is only within two characters, Chris Pratt’s character and Rocket. Zoe Saldana and Dave Bautista’s characters look like they might just be there to spout action one-liners and kick large amounts of buttocks, and not get involved in the hilarity.

And Groot is, well, just Groot. I think he makes that perfectly clear.

In any case, I’m excited to see where “Guardians Of The Galaxy” goes. It is new ground for Marvel, and considering the amount of comedy in some of their earlier entires, this one should have more than a fair share of it.

Excitement Level: Seeing this on opening weekend